This is a too frequent occurrence in our families. In addition to the onset of mental illness, sometimes our children create stories about themselves. Then, they systematically eliminate anyone who challenges their version of events.

In trying to understand, I have uncovered a sad phenomenon of so many parents rejected by their adult children. In the short run, the “why” seems to obsess us. Then, we have to grapple with the “what” and the “how” we are going to move forward anyway. We learn that we cannot hang our hearts on their returns. We need to work through the`shame and self-blame and move to peace and joy, appreciation and gratitude for what we have, for what we’ve had, and for what we can have.

I have found that mindfulness practice is really helpful for me. I also have incorporated the exercises from the book, “Done with the crying” by Sheri McGregor (a fabulous resource and guide for parents grieving the loss of their alive child).

If this is something that you grapple with, what helps you?